I have a horrible track record with New Year’s Resolutions. But I read a lot of blogs and every year feel the siren call to pick a word, create monthly happiness projects, do a 30-day challenge and ultimately achieve enlightenment or something. So after much thought (mostly while in the shower), I’ve decided that my word for 2015 is Grout.
You see, we all have that task that we’ve been avoiding since we signed the closing papers on our house 5 years ago this May. When I nag Lee about a task that I’ve been asking him to finish for years, and he has ignored it for years, I hear a small voice whisper in my ear one word.
If I accomplish nothing else in this new year, may I at least clean all the grout.
While clean grout is a noble goal, and will certainly be time consuming, I do feel like maybe I should come up with something a bit more substantial. So I think my “real” word for 2015 will be…
I was actually just listening to Elise Blaha’s latest podcast with Ali Edwards and they were talking about Ali’s One Little Word project. Apparently last year Ali picked Thrive and hated it. But I’m still sticking with it. Because I feel like I have spent too much of the past eternity in Survival Mode. There’s always something I have to accomplish and then once I do that, I will… I don’t even know what’s on the other side, but part of my brain seems to think it’s Nirvana. There’s just always something that seems to be keeping me from the life I want. There’s a wedding to plan, a house to buy, a pregnancy, a loss of sleep, weight to lose, money to make, a pregnancy, a loss of sleep, weight to lose…
Lately I’ve been telling myself that if I can just keep the laundry done, keep the kitchen clean, get my work done, cook 2 meals/week (that aren’t from a Trader Joe’s bag or just cheese on a carb), run 3 times/week, spend time with the Bible daily, take E on a playdate every week… then everything will be great. As good as it gets! And I keep beating myself up because I can’t even do that much. It seems like so little. It seems like the bare minimum of what my family needs. But it’s also so much.
(Whenever I think of what it would look like to Thrive, I always look like Jennifer Aniston.)
So I think for me, this year is about breaking out of Survival Mode. And I think that that might have more to do with changing my mindset of what Thriving is and less about accomplishing the things listed above. For the 10th straight year, I will likely fail to develop a daily yoga practice, run an 11-minute mile (Slow joggers unite!), give up soda, or learn how to use my camera’s manual mode. And that’s okay. It’s perfect even.
You know what? I’m scrapping this whole “thrive” idea. Let’s be serious, I am currently blessed to be able to say that I have everything I ever wanted (that you can’t but at Tiffany’s). I have a hot, snuggly, kind husband. Two children (one of each gender even!) who are ridiculously cute and at least once a day make me wish that I can capture this moment and remember it forever. We have a house on a quiet cul-de-sac with quick access to an interstate! I have a mom SUV! I get to stay home with these two children and even work-from-home just a bit so I can maintain some useful job skills while succeeding at something because I might never potty train my 3-year-old but at least I can schedule some tweets and make a cute graphic to say “Happy New Year” for our Facebook page! I have amazing family and friends!
I am thriving. And if I showered and slept more, and stopped thinking about all the other things I would like to have (Clear skin, a steady stream of homemade cookies that I would not eat embarrassing amounts of while watching The Bachelor. Yes, I somehow want more cookies, yet to eat less of them, all at the same time.), this would be probably be more apparent to me.
So this year will be about (Clean) Grout and Enjoy(ing Life). Because really, everything is just fine. Not the sarcastic fine I use when Lee asks how my day was and I can’t stop thinking about how he didn’t take out the trash. But like, actually wonderful.
I would like to note that my biggest disappointment of this year is that washi tape doesn’t stick to anything. Am I not buying the right kind? Why would Pinterest lie to me about this?
Please leave your grout-cleaning tips in the comments. Bonus points if they don’t include products that require extra ventilation or a call to poison control if the kids or pets were to accidentally consume some.